We were in the waning hours of our son’s 15th birthday party, a joyful gathering of family and friends at our Surigao City home. But Ivy’s younger sister, Eva, and her boyfriend—both under the influence of more-than-a-little alcohol—had apparently clambered aboard his motorcycle for a joyride into town. And now, according to the breathless neighbor pounding at our door, both lay on the pavement nearby in pools of their very own blood. “Oh my God!” Ivy repeated in panic, “I need to get down there right now!”
And so, our ordeal began.
To be fair, it wasn’t the only deadly ordeal happening in the world that week. Two days earlier, a pair of National Guard soldiers had been shot—one of them fatally—by an Islamic terrorist on the streets of Washington DC. In Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina, someone had died in a road rage incident. And closer to home, my former wife’s brother-in-law had fallen on a fence post in Kentucky, sustaining a brain injury that would soon end his life.
But Eva’s mishap happened even closer than that: literally almost in our front yard. And so Ivy hurriedly scooted to the site while I stayed home with the kids.
What she found there was appalling. Eva, unconscious, had already been rushed to the hospital. Her boyfriend, crying in agony with a broken leg, lay wallowing by the side of the road. And nearby sat their only helmet—his rather than hers—sporting the gaping fracture that had probably saved his life.
“I was shocked!” our 19-year-old niece, who’d gotten there before Ivy, later recalled. “I didn’t know what to do.”
What Ivy did was rush to the hospital to be with her 42-year-old sister. And that’s when it dawned on me how everything can change in an instant. How one minute you can be sitting with your friends sipping wine in a glorious sunset, and the next…well…suddenly the sky can turn black.
We all know that, of course. But experiencing it in real time can definitely update one’s perspective. Here are my takeaways so far: first, never drink and drive. Last year’s holiday season in the Philippines (Dec. 22, 2024, to Jan. 6, 2025) saw 703 traffic accidents, a 30.6% increase from the year before. Of the eight fatalities, the Philippine News Agency reported, five involved motorcycles with major contributing factors including—you guessed it—alcohol and the lack of helmets.
Second, be thankful for the kindness of strangers. Yen Makabenta, another Manila Times columnist who recently wrote about his own head injury from a fall, put it this way: “Here in our country,” he proclaimed, “I am proud to say that people do not walk away from their fellows in distress. Whatever the circumstances, whoever the person in need, Filipinos will generally respond positively to a cry for help…”
And finally, savor every moment because God only knows how many more you will have.
As of this writing, 10 days after the accident, Eva remains in the ICU. The good news is that she’s alive. The bad news: she has suffered severe brain trauma that could take years to heal.
This morning the doctors reported that she has finally regained some level of semi-consciousness, can blink one eye, but can’t yet speak or see. And no one knows how much, exactly, she understands. We’re hoping to get her home by Christmas, at which time she will need round-the-clock care.
Thankfully, in true Filipino fashion, our extended family has stepped up with financial help and an army of volunteers sitting with her day and night. A few evenings ago, I watched my dear wife gently stroking her still-unconscious little sister’s arm. “Don’t worry, Bang,” she cooed, using Eva’s childhood nickname. “The kids are OK, and we are all right here.”
Soon, we trust, she will be with us again. And together we will watch the first of what we pray will be many more sunsets to come.
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David Haldane is an award-winning American journalist and author with homes in Southern California and Northern Mindanao., Philippines. His latest book is Dark Skies: Tales of Turbulence in Paradise. This column appears weekly in The Manila Times.
2 Comments
I wish them a full and complete recovery.
There are way too many horror stories of the lack of quality medical services in the Philippines and that is one of the main reasons that I could never live there.
Thank you, we appreciate your good wishes and concern, John. So far, we’ve been quite happy with the medical care, but we shall see what happens.